SELF-LOVE • Part 3: Body Positivity
There was a time in my life when everything in my head and mind was about what to eat and what not to eat. These thoughts and the goal of having a great body took up so much space that I was not aware of the extent of it for a long time. Meanwhile, the self-doubt and dissatisfaction with my own body spilled over into other areas of my life - my relationships, my career and the social environment.
Beauty ideals ≠ self-love
Today I do not live to eat, but I eat to live! Today there are days when I actually forget to eat. That was unimaginable some time ago. But ONE crucial thing has changed in my eating behavior and in my relationship to my body:
I now eat because I love my body and I do sports because I love my body. Before self-love was a topic in my life, I ate healthy and did sports out of the motivation that I am not beautiful, fit and slim enough.
In short: because of hatred towards my body. While we have the intention to pay extreme attention to a healthy life, we hold on to an inner struggle. And that is the fight against ourselves. This changes our physicality, energy and emotionality.
The body as a battlefield of self-criticism
Battlefield? That sounds pretty harsh, but my experiences as a coach repeatedly confirm the intensity of self-criticism towards ourselves and our own body. Many beliefs and programs that we have learned and practiced over the years buzz around us. One belief that is anchored in all of us is the following: “I am not good enough!”
However, this belief, this trained thought is very subtle. Hardly tangible. Many of us are not even aware of it. So you get up in the morning, look in the mirror and whoops there is this thought again: "My body is not good enough". This subconscious belief finds a projection surface on your body. AND, the body is changeable. We can exercise control over our body.
Dream weight reached, and now?
Many people reach their dream weight and desired appearance and are then still not happy. This precisely describes the phenomenon of the projection surface, which distracts us from the actual problem.
Coupled with the optical optimization mania that is successively instilled in us by the media, it even seems to be a rebellious act to like ourselves.
With your girlfriends it might feel natural for you to talk about how fat and ugly your belly is. As opposed to talking about how comfortable and sexy you feel. This is not okay - and I have made it my mission to break this "normality".
When you Lose Touch with yourself
The voices on the outside are loud. The number of diets and sports programs are growing immensely.I think it's great that there is a big offer, but all these things are dissociating us more and more from ourselves. We lose contact with our intuition, the connection to our body and its intelligence.
Self-criticism
We stand in the way of our own potential. Not by our actual shape, but by our own condemnation, our own self-criticism. This criticism in turn generates feelings of disappointment, failure, shame and anger. This leads to bad sex, focus and discipline difficulties, heaviness and and and. All this makes us feel bitchy, sensitive or manipulative, because:
„You do not see your body as it is. You see your body as you feel.“
We are in a vicious circle
To begin with the body and to only want to change it is not the right approach. Rather, we can learn how to positively influence our state of mind, how to build a connection to our body, how to become our own supporter and how to move from self-criticism to self-compassion.
"I have resistance to accept my body"
Fair enough!
We all have certain body parts that we find really horrible. And to love them directly, to stand in front of the mirror with affirmations and to say: "I love my boobs, I love my belly, I love..." will intensify the fight with reality and therefore the inner cramp.
So please, no affirmations!
Instead accept the resistance. Relax your nervous system by saying:
„I accept that I do not like this body part yet. I accept that I find it terrible.“
You make peace with the fact that you are not yet okay with this body part. Dedicate 2-3 minutes daily to this part of your body. Touch it, even if it is hard. Our hands are directly connected to our heart.
femininity, sex & your body
The fastest and most healing way to reconnect with your body is to reconnect with your femininity. Self-criticism and sexual desire are also directly related, which can have an effect on our libido and our relationships. Feminine qualities are rarely discussed, taught or supported. Yet they are indispensable for a fulfilled life in which lightness and joy are no rarity.
Be a woman, be free - The self-love coaching with Romy
I regularly lead the "Be a woman, be free" course. It is the most successful course I have created so far! In the 1 week course I show you how to approach your self-love and your femininity. Here you can find more information.
